I’ve lately been thinking in verse,
composing thoughts and inner dialogue in
short interlocking fragments.
Quite a change from
my more usual
I’ve been remembering my childhood
in the form of hot, hot sand,
hot rubber, hot cement, hot sun.
Of ants on sidewalks skirting
around my feet, constantly moving.
Of the crisp crunch of dry leaves underfoot
Of white-dusted hands kneading dough,
Of bare feet running tiptoe over hot brick patios,
Of awaking to mourning doves, robins, chickadees.
And I’ve been thinking with my senses,
most especially with my nose.
Prying into hidden memories and
brushing against forgotten chests of scent.
The dankness of basements, the stale tang
of garages, the leathery tannin of fallen oak leaves.
I can taste those scents against my hard palate.
All the more ironic, then,
that I am struck down by a cold
that renders my nose useless.
Today is a slow, slow, rainy day, and I have been slow-moving in response. I realize I’ve not stopped by here lately, and in truth, it seems this blog is nearing the end of its lifespan. I may write more in the future, but there are just too many other things occupying my life lately, and I have neither the time nor inclination to write things down.
But, a short update seems in order, as a lot has been happening lately:
– Max came to visit me in the later half of February for a short while, which was wonderful. As is increasingly the case, I left the airport after his visit feeling it was not enough, that time had flown inexplicably by before I had a chance to appreciate every moment we had together. We had a very full schedule this visit, including a day-long series of workshops at Kink.com, a 3-hour private lesson, and multiple social engagements. I enjoyed helping and assisting at the workshops where I could, and it definitely introduced a new level of service to Max that I had little prior experience with. All in all, it seemed to go fairly smoothly, and we got some really nice feedback at the end.
– I am trying to move myself towards a freelancing career, which is proving most difficult – in all the ways one would expect self-employment to be difficult. But, perhaps the biggest obstacle to overcome is my own inertia and self-doubt. There are days I feel like I can do anything, but they are far outweighed by the times I hold back, frozen in place by the hugeness of my decision weighing me down and by the lack of a definite plan or path.
– But I am still sending out resumes now and again, when I see something I think I could do and enjoy.
– I submitted a few pieces to this year’s Seattle Erotic Arts Festival as well as a collaborative proposal for an installation piece. The installation proposal was accepted, and now begins the process of building this installation with an art collaborator who lives over a thousand miles away. It will be quite a unique experience for me, and promises to take me far outside my comfort levels. I’m terribly excited, and very nervous, about the whole thing.
– I am getting really into both my yoga and climbing. I’ve started going to yoga 3-4 times a week, and I’m hoping to up my climbing to three times a week as well. A new friend in town has gotten me to go climbing outdoors with him as well, which has been wonderful. I can feel my body getting stronger and more limber every week, and as per my (intentionally vague) resolution after coming home from Sydney, I’ve kept an exercise/activity log, which is filling up quite nicely.
So, that’s a general life update of the past month or so. Perhaps I will post updates as I work through the SEAF piece, but we’ll see… Otherwise, I’m much more active on Twitter and Fetlife now.