learning about self-care
As much as I love reflecting – in long blog posts – on the bumps that I’ve hit while navigating my first poly relationship, sometimes it is simply my insistence, stubbornness, on solving everything myself and never seeking outside help that exacerbates things. I’ve had a hard time coming to terms with the concept of inviting another person into my head and to the table to help process my feelings.
Communication in this arena has thus been halting at best as I find ways to fight that blockage. Emails and blog entries allow me to reflect more carefully and make sure I get my thoughts out as clearly as I can, though admittedly physical and phone conversations have the benefit of immediate feedback and vocal support. I am not prone to blurting out what I’m feeling right away, and it often takes quite a few days of sorting through my feelings to even talk about them coherently.
The balance I have been fighting to achieve is how long to wait, in the time I am taking to figuring out how okay or not okay I am with some occurrence, before I mention anything.
Because, of course, while I am trying to be more open about my feelings, I also recognize that it’s not practical or realistic to always mention when I’m not feeling good about something. Sometimes it is about self-care and distracting myself until some brief episode of jealousy passes.
This leads me to wonder: what are some of the ways poly people employ self-care to get through those periods? Would anyone care to share?