Home > fantasy, reflection, sex > Penis envy

Penis envy

For as long as I have been sexually active, I’ve held a particular fascination for the male genitalia.  Even before I ever touched a penis, I would watch (bad, pixellated) clips of porn and wonder what it felt like for the guy to have sex.  I found it difficult to translate the stroking of a hand, penetration, or lips and tongue around the shaft, to what I felt while masturbating.  Did it feel the same?  Or similarly? I would wonder.  Do guys feel the same surges and sensitivity that I feel when I touch my clit, expanded over a larger surface area?

And once I did start having sex with a male partner, my curiosity just continued to grow.  I love hearing those sounds that lips, hands, and cunt can elicit from men.  I’m fascinated that I can make another person feel that way.  And I’ve always maintained a strong association between erection and power.  That admission probably makes me a very bad feminist, but I do find the erect penis to be an extremely powerful symbol.  I like the idea of being able to physically grasp at arousal – to feel it pulsing and hard and hot in my hand.  When I’m aroused, I’ve often wished I could grip onto my lust and desire as a physical object.

Despite all of this, I don’t own any strap-ons or even any realistic dildos.  I’ve certainly thought about it, but it doesn’t have quite the same appeal.  So for now I just deal with having, from time to time, a little penis envy.

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Categories: fantasy, reflection, sex
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