Home > dream, firsts, life lessons > In which I blather on about laptops late at night

In which I blather on about laptops late at night

February 14, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

I should be asleep right now, but since I downed three shots of espresso over the course of my evening shift tonight and then went to spend time with the visiting family afterwards, I can’t shut my brain off and am here, writing, instead.  Oh, morning café shift, how bleak you look right now.

I am still very much hurting over the theft of my laptop this past Monday, and part of my lousy mood all week has been feeling that loss during the day (especially considering that I lost it while at work), and then repeating the scenario in my head at night, unable to sleep for all the alternate paths that day could have taken.  If only I had… I should never  have… I could have…

All of it hurts.  The fact that I had gotten so accustomed to the familiarity and friendliness of my workplace as to have let my guard down.  The fact that this was something I had so wanted, that I had hinted I wanted to my mother, that she then gifted to me for the holidays: this big, expensive laptop.  The self-battering of my own negligence, carelessness, and blatant disregard for city culture.  The fact that it’s my first significant theft to impact me so strongly on an emotional level.

Sure, part of me scoffs: all for what? A hunk of replaceable and exorbitantly expensive metal?  The fact that I even have a backup laptop, my old college Dell, is suddenly a blessing.  A part of me relives the scenario purely to be able to imagine punching in the faces of the two kids who lifted the computer.  It is unfortunate that it’s when I am tired and ready for bed that the defenses strip away enough to get to a point of pure emotional vengeance, and it’s enough to kick up my adrenaline and make it that much harder to fall asleep.

It doesn’t help that I’ve continued to get mildly intrusive and disturbing phone calls from someone in response to the craigslist ad I placed, asking about my missing laptop.

In the midst of everything, I am debating whether to get a new laptop, which seems more and more necessary given the kind of work I am doing, and if so, whether to replace the Macbook Pro or shoot for a more ergonomical and economically-feasible PC.  Most PCs with similar specs to my Macbook are equally powerful at a third of the cost.  I recognize that if I bought a Macbook, a large part of the money is going to the brand name tax and the aluminum unibody.

Yet, as so many Macbook owners can attest to, having used one now makes it extremely hard to go back to PCs.  I can rationalize wanting to replace what I’ve lost in an attempt to keep my new status quo.  And Macbooks are so different from PCs, whereas I’d have no issue switching between, say, a Dell and a Lenovo.  This is purely on the body design, because, as a third option, I could also buy a cheaper PC and install Snow Leopard or Ubuntu to run on it instead.

So many thoughts running through my head.  And there are a bunch of Valentine’s Day sales on electronics over the weekend, which makes it tempting to just bite the bullet and purchase a $500-600 laptop now.  (Though why electronics should go on sale for Valentine’s Day mystifies me; are iPads the new rose bouquet and chocolate package?)

I doubt I will, though.  I’m not a very impulsive shopper, even in thrift stores.  I hate accumulating more physical “stuff.”  And yet, I still want another Macbook Pro.  Ugh, I reek of consumerism.

The other topic that I’ve been considering seriously is developing a more regular climbing and workout regimen.  At the moment I have been trying to make it to the climbing gym once a week, and I’d like to also attend their weekly yoga classes as well, though so far the 7:30am class time remains a daunting goal.  And this entire concept of a regular exercise schedule is so foreign to me.  For a while, in my teens, I shunned the idea of exercise for the sake of physical fitness, believing that physical fitness should be maintained through actual labor that also accomplishes something else.  I so disdained the idea of pure, abstract exercise, with its tinge of privilege and class.

Yes, I had rather quite a few high headed beliefs as a teenager.  And I’d like to think I’m not so self-righteously perched on that marble pedestal anymore.  However, a direct consequence of this belief has been that I’ve never prioritized exercise mentally, nor have I formed habits for keeping to an exercise schedule.

Surely it cannot be that difficult.  And since my climbing gym in fact is a full workout gym as well, I have very little excuse to not get in better shape and increase my flexibility.  On a bright note, despite not having climbed for the past couple of months, after just a few trips to the gym I’m already getting on 5.10b routes, which I never attempted while at school.  And I get a better endorphin high and have more fun climbing than I ever will running or working the ellipticals.

And, yes, for anyone who’s already thought this, a large part of my increased level of interest and awareness of my physical fitness is, indeed, to be able to handle more as a rope bottom.  What can I say?  We all have our vices, alas.

(Oh, let me amend that.  At the last Exiles munch, I arm-wrestled with three of the attendees, and lost to two of them.  There’s plenty of motivation right there!)

Categories: dream, firsts, life lessons
  1. February 14, 2010 at 8:10 am

    I understand what you’re feeling, I think. The other day I got sad at the thought of a $20 that I lost (and I’m pretty sure I know who lifted, while lying to my face) in France in like, 1999. If you are a sensitive person, the fact that someone else would STEAL YOUR STUFF is really hurtful. Also, as someone who agonizes over purchases, I feel your pain!

    • February 15, 2010 at 10:16 pm

      Oh yeah, I still remember having my wallet emptied when I was in grade school before I found it on the hallway floor. Friends sympathizing with me said it well: it’s a complete invasion of your privacy and personal space.

      Also: people suck.

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