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transitions

November 30, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

If I’ve been quiet on here lately, it’s not for lack of activity elsewhere.  Between the recent holiday, working extra shifts, a freelance assignment that I’ve only just sent off last night, and the few other personal projects I’m working on, I’ve spent plenty of time in front of my computer screen – just not here.

And – speaking of personal projects, a moment of inspiration has me putting together a new, visual blog that I’ll hopefully be ready to reveal soon.  I want to see first if I’ll even be able to sustain it, but I’m excited to have a new venture to delve into.  And I’ve always been more proficient with visuals than with words (not to say that I won’t stop spewing those out here though).

I seem to be in a state of transition.  A few weeks back, I felt rather like Grendel.  I felt about as personable as a snake, spitting and hissing curses at the people around me.  Now I’m mostly just bemused by thoughts and considerations of where I fit in here, where I belong, and where I’m heading.

It sounds a lot more grandiose than it is.

And granted I’m just about at the four month mark of living in San Francisco.  Not to mention that given my anti-sociality (which no one believes of me, but which is nonetheless very much true), I shouldn’t be surprised that I haven’t widened my sphere of acquaintances.  I am just looking at the kinds of things I want to be able to do in the city – trails to hike, places to climb, museums to peruse – and wishing I could be better about reaching out to the people I already do know to engage in these activities with me.

I feel a transition in the blog, as well.  It seems a lot more…stifling here lately.  My growing transparency between blog persona and local presence must account for some of that.  I will have to reconsider what I want this place to be about, and the content that is appropriate for it.  I’ve never had to consider this before; but then I’ve never been so transparent, and I’ve never enjoyed attention directed at myself.  I’m starting to consciously abstract and generalize more, and it’s less possible to talk as freely here as it once was.  It may be time to head towards more obscure waters again – to reinvent my anonymity.

Well, alright, I’ve spouted enough for tonight.  Time to hit the hay and forget all these silly little burdens of mine for a little while.

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