Archive for January, 2009

Yes, I do love the dark one

January 28, 2009 2 comments

Yes, I love the dark one.

And I hate the dark one.

I am drawn to the casual intensity of his posture, helpless moth to consuming flame.  His cocksure smile, tongue like a snake, all soft syllables and hidden fangs, dripping with an instinctual understanding of his prey.  His smirking, liquid eyes, eyes that have seen innumerable women pass under and through them and collected from them a treasury of feminine secrets – I hate those eyes.

Those eyes melt me with their heat.

I cannot help the desire that floods my veins from the impact of his presence.  No, there is no stopping pure biology, nor pure lust.  But neither will I simply be another pawn, consumed without thought to sate his unending appetite, his arrogant cockiness.

My desperation for his touch fuels my distance and avoidance.  His game, his rules, and I refuse to enter the board.  I mistrust his magnetism, mistrust that I can ever remain whole from his ministrations.

I do not want to remain whole.

I want the dark one.

I hate the dark one.

Categories: ethereal, writing

すがすみ! and Fleshbot

January 25, 2009 Leave a comment

Another Sugasm week, and thanks to Madeline in the Mirror for including me in her Fleshbot roundup last Friday: Caged Heat.  Rowr!

I’ve been learning two of the three Japanese character systems, hiragana and katakana, and have just installed the keyboard inputs for writing in Japanese on my laptop, thus my gleeful (mis)use of hiragana for the post title.


The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #158? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

A 2009 Wish For Smut Writers
“Sex bloggers are on the cusp of what I see as being a new kind of sexual revolution.”

Q&A with Domina Doll
“I enjoy teaching others how to explore that aspect of themselves.”

“He kissed the side of my neck, sweeping my long hair out of the way, working his mouth across the side of my neck to press little bites along my collarbone.”

Sugasm Editor

Sex Work And Honesty: When The Truth Hurts

Editor’s Choice

Dictation with Davis

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)
Read more…

Categories: fleshbot, links, sugasm


January 15, 2009 5 comments


I took this photo using my Christmas present to myself: a Nikon D60 DSLR.  I bought a lens to go with it, but apparently they “accidentally oversold on this item” and it’s on back order.  I have no idea when I’ll get it, so I’ve been using an older Nikkor lens I have just so I can play around and take some photos.

Now I just need some models…preferably nude models.  Hehe.

Categories: graphic girl, photos

Weasel journal

January 13, 2009 20 comments

I can feel bloodlust rising in my gut and groin.  It comes every once and a while, always unexpected, always sudden as a slap across the face.  It’s hard to explain the transformation, precisely.  It is animalistic, carnal, raging heat in its purest form.  It curves my hands into claws, itching to grasp onto a body and claim it.  It clenches my jaw with the inexplicable desire to bite down on soft flesh, bite down to the bone and not let go.  It makes me want to tear, rip apart, reduce, immerse, consume with every pore.  I want to swallow someone whole and for their last human breath to be a gasp of raw pleasure.

It makes me wild.

When it comes, it dominates my mind, and I can think of little else.  Images of teeth tearing through flesh wash across my mind and my heartbeat quickens.  The feral grin of a wolf leaves me heady with desire.  It knows what it is.  It takes what it needs, and that is all.  I imagine its hot musky breath, a flash of ivory fangs before it strikes my throat.  Pure, precise, and beautiful.

It makes me feel radiantly alive.

I want to leave nothing behind but “tracks in clay, a spray of feathers, mouse blood and bone.”  To be taken as I am, my body consumed completely, teeth embedded in yielding flesh.

What else is there?

Categories: fantasy, writing


January 11, 2009 Leave a comment

It is that time of month again, and once more I feel the heaviness of a hormone-driven lust thick in my veins.  It pools in my arms, the tips of my fingers, melts to lava between my legs.  I cannot stop the flood; I can only submit to it.

Images crowd and jostle for dominance in my mind as most erotic and animalistic: being abruptly taken by a stranger, so hard and fast I don’t have time to breathe; a musky cock driven so far down my throat that I can’t breathe; multiple pairs of roaming hands having their way with my hypersensitive skin, prodding, pinching, pulling, scratching.  Penetrating.

Suffice to say, my Kegels have been getting their workout and are hungry for something solid to grip.  Feed them?

I have started watching Californication, and my God is there a lot of sex in that show.  Hard not to love a show where the first episode opens with David Duchovny getting a blowjob from a nun.  And now, 3 episodes in, kink is making an appearance too, namely a devious bottom secretary and her boss.  Episode 3 has her bare bum over his lap, and he gives in so easily to her wiles.  I swear my own ass tingled upon hearing the first spank.  That’s the Pavlovian response for you – I miss getting a good spanking, and so does my butt.

And I’ve always crushed on David Duchovny in X-files since childhood.  Seeing him actually getting some action in bed is…well, quite a visual orgasm for me.  (Again with the older men…sigh).

Categories: fantasy, links

And yet I still felt I had something to lose

January 10, 2009 Leave a comment

Did my existence offer anything against its own extinction?… I didn’t want to leave this scene. I didn’t care which world was coming next. I don’t know why I felt this, but how could I just walk out on life? It didn’t seem like the responsible thing to do.

Even if no one would miss me, even if I left no blank space in anyone’s life, even if no one noticed, I couldn’t leave willingly. Loss was not a skill, not a measure of a life. And yet I still felt I had something to lose.

– Murakami, Hard-boiled Wonderland and the End of the World

Categories: ethereal, hope, life, links

And my heart went *thump*

January 3, 2009 3 comments

Holy crap this is the most amazing video ever:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

In other news, 2009 is starting off rather well – there is a GUY! A guy who can hold intellectually stimulating conversation and thinks it’s cute that I used to catch bugs as a kid. SCORE.  Only problem?  He’s in NYC, and, well, I’m not.  Not for long, that is.  So, time will tell, but we are keeping in touch for now.

Interesting to think that I have a history of dating not only older guys, but also ones outside of my alma mater.  A fact my friends often poke fun at me for.  They were all so impressed that I dated someone like SR, only a year or so my senior, at all.  And New Guy is at least 4 years older than me, I think.

And, of course, I dig the geeks (ok, besides Tim, but him I’d rather forget about anyway).

Probability of sex in the near future?  Sigh, still negligible…

Categories: video