Archive for December, 2008

Happy passing of 2008, cheers to the tentative future

December 31, 2008 Leave a comment

It’s New Year’s Eve, and I have been celebrating with orgasms galore via my favorite vibrator.  The resident fatcat is purring contentedly on my lap, and the sounds of cake-baking are emanating from the kitchen.  All in all, a quiet but satisfying transition into 2009.  I will wake up tomorrow feeling no different, and I’ve never made a new year’s resolution in my life.

This upcoming year, though, I do have several promises to make to myself, among them to join a P.E. class and burn away the depressives, make a visit to the pottery studio at least once weekly, and continue to follow the Daily Show with Jon Stewart as well as my new additions, the Rachel Maddow Show, House, and Californication.  I will continue knitting and learning the guitar, and I want to learn to use the metal shop’s oxyacetylene, TIG, and MIG welders and try my hand at some metal sculpture work.  I have an art show to prepare for, which will involve lots of woodworking, and lots of other pet projects and ideas on hold.

I have also made it a point to start reading more on the events occurring in the Middle East, as I do have a close friend studying in Lebanon.  The recent Gaza bombings have incited my interest in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.  In reading the comments alone on online news reports, it’s easy to see the great amount of anger, grudge-holding, nationalism, patriotism, and finger-pointing on both sides that will only make it that much harder to get beyond the fighting.

2009 will, at the least, be a very busy year, especially once I’m done with my internship and (hopefully) finally able to move out West like I had originally planned.


In the spirit of good cheer

December 25, 2008 Leave a comment

Ok, I wasn’t going to blog for the rest of the holiday week, but once I read this from Wilhelmina’s blog, well, I just couldn’t resist.  An online kinky community site called is having a most generous giveaway, with great stocking stuffers:

Estimated value: $548 USD

Really, who could resist?  It’s been awhile since I was part of an online community of any kind, much less of the “alternate lifestyle” variety, but I do like how clean the website is.  Just compare between and Fetlife to see what I’m talking about.

As another treat, I recently found an online copy of The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle so I can finally finish it.  I couldn’t read much today as we spent the entirety of the day entertaining family at a ski lodge, and we are taking them into the city (that’s New York City) tomorrow.  Maybe tonight if it doesn’t tire my eyes too much.  I’m still recovering from whatever awful voice-killing disease I have.

Categories: links


December 24, 2008 Leave a comment

Between a sudden onslaught of relatives and getting sick again, there’s been little time or energy to do much here.  I’m just getting over the worst of it now, having reduced my tissue usage to less than half a box a day.  And what timing!  The last minute scramble for the perfect Christmas eve celebration is starting and the yelling and cleaning have begun.  There is a white sheet of snow outside, and good cooking inside.

Hope everyone has a pleasant holiday!

Categories: ethereal, winter

bah, humbug

December 17, 2008 2 comments

Life has been odd lately…quietly tumultuous.  Something to do with the combination of grey weather, my period coming, and my current book, The Wind-up Bird Chronicle, that I am reading day by day whenever I go to the bookstore.  It’s been a long time coming, picking up a Murakami novel, long lauded and highly recommended to me by close friends since last year.

I keep putting things off, including writing here.  There’s a block I’ve found hard to work against, something I always fight when I’m home.  I never feel like doing anything, even though there is so much to do (laundry, website work for a client, holiday presents to think up, find/make, and wrap, an upcoming art show to plan for, cleaning up the basement, cleaning up in general for when relatives visit in less than a week, guitar to practice, books to read, a brother to pick up from school, running and lifting at the gym, car checkups for the winter…).  Did I leave anything out?

And as per usual, the book, the brother, and the gym have taken priority.  With everything else a constant weight in the back of my mind, though, it’s hard to feel motivated to post anything here.  Not that I write the most coherent posts this time of month, anyway.  Mostly I am still silently fuming over the fuckup of a breakup a few months back, still feeling the sting to the ego at how easily he let me go – enhanced by my period, when I am emotionally rollercoasting to begin with.  Emotionally rocky and sex-deprived.

I keep swallowing it down, though, all of it.  I don’t let it show, not willing to give in to the hormones.  I just keep swallowing it into the pit of my stomach.  I just hope it doesn’t explode on me some day.

Categories: life


December 12, 2008 1 comment

Drudged up an interesting memory driving home the other day.  I have always believed in my own ability to rationalize my own fears to death, if I think they don’t make sense.  And my innate fears fascinate me and make me want to push their limits.  Thus I rock climb even though I have a fear of heights and touch spiders even though I have a fear of arachnids.

But when I was little and hadn’t started overanalyzing everything yet(that would come with puberty), I remember I had this potent fear of my mom getting in a car accident whenever I wasn’t in the car with her.  If she was late coming home from work, my mind immediately panicked at the thought of her never making it back, rather than reasoning that she had to stay late at work, or that traffic was particularly bad, or that she had stopped to buy groceries on the way home.

I never told anyone what I was thinking, though perhaps my dad got an inkling of it by watching the way I would pace from the living room to the kitchen, looking out the windows at the street.  And it was always with an immense feeling of relief that I would see car headlights heading down our driveway and the familiar shape of my mom’s car pulling in.

My mom often worked late and went grocery shopping, and yet I could never shake that anxiety once 6pm had come and gone and she wasn’t home.  I’m not sure where this came from, or what made something like that develop.  Perhaps even then, at the age of 8 or 9, I was starting to show symptoms of an anxiety disorder.

Not sure why, but I really wanted to get this written down – this memory of fear and anxiety at the potential loss of my mother.

Categories: ethereal, memories


December 6, 2008 1 comment

Mmm, clothespins…

I think I’ve found my libido again!

Missing: Libido

December 1, 2008 Leave a comment

Last seen three days prior, leading to dual penetration orgasms of unforeseen magnitude.  Has not made appearance since.  Completely absent from life, rather missed even if life is now less frustrating.  Thinking the freak storm on drive up to campus after break scared it away.

If found, please direct it back into the vicinity of my groin and head.

Reward: Will use the power of reacquired libido as ample reward for your time and service.

Categories: ethereal, humor, links, photos