Home > hope, life, memories, sundry > tubby, hot tub, sex

tubby, hot tub, sex

Nearly unbearably hot water running down my back: almost as good as sex. Almost. Truly, though, there is nothing more relaxing than a good hot soak.

I have been reading one of Jean Auel‘s Earth’s Children’s novels, picked up at a library sale for 10¢ last week. There are 5 of these altogether; I remember I first picked one up innocuously from a stand of giveaway books at a train station as my mother and I waited for the train to take us into the city. She may actually have been the one to pick it out for me.

In any case, I was completely taken by surprise at the contents of the book. It is first a pre-historical fiction, set in Ice Age Europe and following various Cro Magnon and Neanderthal characters. Each of her novels are intimidatingly thick, in no small part due to the lengthy geological, floral, faunal, and historical detail of the conditions of the continent at that point in history. And between those thick paragraphs, the plot centers around a female Cro Magnon, separated from her family and found and raised by Neanderthals, and her subsequent adventures. And the frequent acts of sex she and her partner perform on each other (called Pleasures).

I was probably about 12 when that first book fell in my hands. I don’t remember if it was the first book describing explicit sexual acts that I read, but it is definitely one I have remembered well. Granted, it is not the most evocative writing, and they occurred so frequently in Auel’s novels that it bordered on repetitive.

(But I secretly still looked forward to each scene)

It has been a long time since I first read one of her books. When I saw it at that library sale, I plucked it off the shelf first out of pure impulse. It had been awhile since I’d read much else besides Neil Gaiman, and while I adore and idolize the man and his work, it was nice to have a change of style and genre.

And the only reason I went through all that was because there is this one scene where the two main characters find a camp of Cro-Magnons and share their space and hospitality. This particular camp is found around a wealth of natural hot springs, and one of the hottest (pun maybe intended) scenes in the book occurred between those two main characters in a hot spring.

I have yet to experience hot spring/hot tub sex, but it sounds very much like fun. The only time I have been in a tub with another man was with Tim, and the tub was barely large enough for me to stretch my legs out alone, much less adding in a short fat man. It makes me cringe to think that not only did I set such low intellectual standards to be with that man, I painfully blinded myself to his physical stature as well. And it was not until I met M that I realized just how much I was depriving myself in the size department. I guess I am a size queen after all.

Lesson learned.

Further digressing from hot tubs and sex and exes, I have been seeing a lot of the “21-day cleanse” circulating around, and am immensely curious about it. I am wary of anything that is lauded as a panacea of all health problems, but it does seem to have many benefits. The cleanse requires abstaining completely from sugar (I’m guessing natural fruit sugars are ok?), meat, gluten, alcohol, caffeine, and dairy.

I know there is absolutely no way I am going to eliminate meat from my diet. But I recognize that that food group dominates my diet and probably shouldn’t. Alcohol and caffeine is not really an issue, and I am lactose intolerant anyway (though I’ve been known to ignore that for the sake of good cheese and ice cream). Gluten might be tricky, given that it often finds its way into completely unrelated products. And sugar will be hard too, purely based on the amount of sweets that seem to naturally accumulate in our house.

But it can be done! I am not going to start right away, and in fact will probably slowly ease into it, rather than going completely cold turkey on day one. We’ll see if it gives me the energy boost and decreased stress and anxiety so many people have professed it has.

Categories: hope, life, memories, sundry
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