Home > emolicious, life lessons, memories > Black and white

Black and white

I can tell my period is due in a week or less, as I have become, inwardly at least, moodier. However, I have not yet done what I have been doing pre-cycle for the past few months; that is, masturbate and come hornily (as if there’s any other way to come…), and then immediately break into tears thinking about the ex.

Oh, the things I look forward to each month.

He has been occupying my thoughts, though, speaking of which. Along with all the should haves, should have nots, whys. Not among them is ‘I should have stayed with him,’ which seems like a no-brainer, but there are times when I am feeling particularly low, or especially craving human contact, sensuality, and affection…of the male persuasion, where I wonder when I will be able to feel any of that again.

And, I confess, there are times when I miss him.

For a brief breath of time before I remember how he treated me, what he was trying to turn me into, and what he put me through.

The thoughts that closely follow behind, well, they are not something I need to share. But they are born of an unquenched, feral rage I have been unable to get rid of ever since I left him.

As if he has refused me even that peace of mind.

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