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October 25, 2006 Leave a comment Go to comments

Autumn is a transitionary period in of itself. That trait becomes imbued in my life during the season…there seems to be constant change occurring.

In the same nostalgic element intrinsic to the season, I wish this atmosphere would continue down, continual transition, continual steel grey fighting with deep autumn blue, colorful falling leaves, colorful remaining foliage. Cold, biting rain intertwined with hot Indian summer sun. I wish things could remain the same, by continuing to change.

But now it is the time of transition into winter, and the electricity of early autumn is gone. It is the kind of grey reminiscient of Pilgrim days; a dreary chill hugging the skin regardless of the layers of cloth put on. It is the kind of day that I thought of when reading The Witch of Blackbird Pond as a child.

It is the noticeable lack of this that I find most tiring about winter, and it must be partially to blame for the common Seasonal Affective Disorder. The lack of change, I mean. Shades of grey do not inflame much in the mind, just as the shortness of daylight shortcircuits neurons in the brain of the most severely affected by SAD.

I am preaching, and thus losing focus. It’s been a fairly hard week, not so much because of heavy workloads as of long days of inactivity. Sitting in place, animating and modeling. Standing in place, painting. Sitting in lecture. Sitting through meetings. I feel…stretched, uncomfortably so. But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I feel comfortably challenged this term, and that is an encouraging feeling. It keeps me going.

My body, however, is very much out of sorts, thanks to that age old time of month. It seems that nothing I eat or drink sits well with my suddenly finicky stomach. I should make a list for this. No caffeine. No grease. No dairy. Nothing cold. No sugary drinks.

I’ve heard, through various sources, that orgasms help with menstrual cramping. Last month, this seemed to work fairly well. I have yet to do that this time, but it hasn’t been too bad. But still, no reason not to try, even with no cramps. Heh. Although I do admit to being slightly squeamish towards…that kind of bodily fluid.

I am still feeling the constancy of an unresolved horniness.

And in my jumpy state of mind, I am suddenly filled with sensations of crackling fire and frost. In this state of transition to transition*, I feel like I am preparing to hibernate. That I were a bear…

*yes, I realize the overhelming, grammar-cloggingly annoying overuse of this word in this post. I may sometimes have been accused of being a “walking dictionary” in high school, but never a walking thesaurus.

Categories: life, links, sundry, writing
  1. His fucktoy
    October 26, 2006 at 11:12 pm

    Strangely, as much as i want to ask about your previous post, i thought i’d just say that this post parallels where i am, too. Odd. i wondered if i had written this somewhere in my own sleepless night…

    i appreciate this post. Thank you.
    But from your previous post, you are alright, am i to assume that much is true?

  2. nell
    October 26, 2006 at 11:44 pm

    I am fine, toy – I appreciate your concern!It is just that recent…developments have made me…well, I don’t even know! I can’t describe it, I feel like I can only talk around it, look at it peripherally…I am still wholy unable to talk about it.But despite all that, ‘it’ is good. It is amazing, even. For one thing, it makes me unbelievably horny…

  3. His fucktoy
    October 28, 2006 at 2:21 am

    Sounds good!

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