Home > hope, life lessons, reflection, writing > squirrel dynamics

squirrel dynamics

October 10, 2006 Leave a comment Go to comments

Walking through campus today, I saw a squirrel (Sciurus carolinensis) bounding through a lot, and I had a revelation. In its movements, the squirrel made a sinuous, undulating curve that rippled through its body and tail, as if its spine and tail were invisibly connected to a sine wave. I began to imagine a traditional animation showing this, and pondered how I would be able to draw each frame to show the liquid transition through the curves. My mind shifted over to the 3-dimensional world, and I visualized animating the squirrel with joints, rigging, a polygon model; what kind of equation would I need to emulate those lithe undulations?

And in that moment, my mind opened a new path before me, one that I had never considered before. I imagined a different future self, engaged in the science of fluid dynamics, of water-driven equations, of physics, differential equations, integrals, and lab coats. A tiny thrill ran through me at this thought, an excitement I’d never before felt in relation to physics or calculus.

It just seems all so random and chaotic, the choices we make for our own destinies. What does/can/would this mean?

And yet, underlying it all, underlying all the bright, distant points of light that my future may possibly wind towards, there is my submission. My submission, and subsequently another’s power and control over me. It is real, and it is a part of me, and will follow me down any of the paths I take. It may very well determine my path, in fact.

An interesting thought, which creates an emotion within me that I can’t describe. A kind of yearning, but … well, I don’t know.

  1. His fucktoy
    October 12, 2006 at 12:08 am

    i must interject my own alignment with this post of yours.

    i have often tried to capture this “well, i don’t know” pathways thing. It is very real and every time i started, something would disuay me or i’d lose my train of thought.

    It is something to consider that this submission that we gift to a trusted other will have a definite role in the paths our lives take. In its own entity; it’s a daunting and beautiful sacrifice.

    No regrets.
    i love your introspection, i really do because not only do i learn more about you, i can relate too.

    Thank you 😀

  2. nell
    October 13, 2006 at 2:48 am

    It is daunting indeed, but you’re right, so beautiful as well. And so … right.Ever since realizing this previously dormant part of myself, I’ve realized just how powerful an entity submission really is.And … why, you’re welcome, toy!

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